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Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

The Risks of Going the Distance

TRANSFORMERS2.NET Sam and Mikaela (Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox) in "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen."
TRANSFORMERS2.NET
Sam and Mikaela (Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox) in “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.”

Ah, the long-distance relationship. If there’s one thing we can all be certain of, it’s that this is not for the faint of heart. Sadly, many people who choose to make this commitment, don’t’ fully understand how difficult it can be. The typical difficulties of a long distance relationship are only intensified by one of the most exciting times in one’s life, known as college.

Ask around and you’ll be surprised by the number of people who have either been in a long-distance relationship at some point in their life or know someone who has. In my experience, the only ones who are advocating for them are those who happen to be already in one or those who have no experience to base their facts on — your typical “yes man.”

In the movie “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” Sam and Mikaela (Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox) enter into a long distance relationship the summer after senior year. For a short period of time before the action really begins, the film uses this relationship to illustrate some of the problems that can plague a couple in these circumstances.

I recently read an article that claimed the two things one needs in order to sustain a long distance relationship are commitment and a plan. While I believe that these are two essential things to have, they are just two of many. The complexity of these relationships cannot be overstated, and the trust needed cannot be overemphasized.

Most truly underestimate what they are agreeing to during that fateful last summer spent with their significant other before college begins. With unforeseen challenges at every turn, temptations abound on college campuses, which will test the commitment of the individual, it’s hard to truly understand at that time exactly what one will face. For people that have relied on their partner for emotional and physical support back at home, the future may be grim.

It is one thing to sustain a relationship when you can see the person multiple times a week for extended periods of time; it is another to visit them twice a semester on weekends. One would think that the more you FaceTime, text and call the other, the stronger the bond. Yet, what I have observed is quite the opposite.

To my knowledge, there were two couples on my floor that survived the year only seeing each other a maximum of twice a semester, sometimes once. When I got the chance I just had to ask, “What’s the secret?” One told me, “Honestly, independence. We both love each other, but recognize we are at college hundreds of miles away. We talk over the phone twice a week max.”

Unsurprisingly, things don’t go according to plan for Sam and Mikaela, with the troubles made clear when Sam misses their first video chat because he is out partying. This isn’t malicious on the part of Sam, however it does illustrate the volatility that a college schedule can bring to a relationship without the couple expecting it, much less being prepared for it.

As most people know, plans in college are made very quickly and can change on a dime, so having frequent time slots set aside for one’s significant other can quickly get in the way of that. This takes away from the experience, while simultaneously hindering the relationship because plans to FaceTime or call constantly have to be made up or rescheduled.

To the couples that are insistent upon trying it, more power to you. Go for it and give it your best shot, but know the odds are not in your favor. It will require more trust than you thought possible to give and if it isn’t healthy for both of you, end it.

Long distance relationships can work, but statistically most don’t. As for the fate of Sam and Mikala, let’s just say Shia LaBeouf had a new flame in the third movie. Perhaps one of the few things Hollywood just happened to get right.

Justin Kotwicki is a rising sophomore in the College. Getting Talks appears every other Wednesday at thehoya.com.

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