Welcome To My Struggle
The Cereal Dater

This is a story about Cookie Crisp. We met freshman year and occasionally said hi, usually just in passing. I never thought about him until one particular Lauinger Library encounter our junior spring semester after which I thought to myself, “He’s cute. I’d date him.” Yes, this was all set in motion because of one late night on Lau 2. No, I didn’t even look slightly put-together that night.

A few weeks ago, I ran into Cookie Crisp on my way home and asked him on a date, just to see what would happen. For some reason, he said yes, and I proceeded to share my excitement with all my friends and even one of my friend’s mothers.

One friend commented, “He doesn’t look like your type. He doesn’t look like he lives at Yates.” Yet, the first date went well. I forced myself to relax more, ask questions and try to be who I am with my friends.
Afterward, when my friends asked whether I liked him, I found myself asking myself the same question, only to admit with defeat that I did not know the answer. Is this something you know on the first date? The first date shockingly turned into a second date, and I was still not certain how I felt. When do you know?

This dating thing is an emotional roller coaster. The second date was not ideal, and I went to bed that night rather upset. I spent the next day feeling less than 100 percent and debated wallowing with a Hot Chick, Wisey’s cookies and multiple glasses of wine, all decisions I knew I would later regret.

Suddenly, there was a complication before we’d even started. My friends advised, “Just go with the flow if you want, but you might get your feelings hurt in the end” and “Maybe cut it off now before you get in too deep?” Both screamed “fear” to me.

But I don’t want to be afraid of anything; I want to do everything that scares me. What kind of life would I be living otherwise? I want to see where this thing with Cookie Crisp goes, if it goes anywhere at all. Otherwise I’ll never know.

I used to justify my singleness with the belief that you should love yourself before you enter a relationship with another person. I simply didn’t love myself yet. But whatever that low point was in my life, I’m beyond it now.

Now, I know for certain that I like me. In fact, I love me. I like me enough to be single, and ever since I started asking guys on dates, singleness is a choice and I’m a bit tired of asking. Yet, I still find myself pondering. Do I really like Cookie Crisp? Or do I only like the idea of a boyfriend? Welcome to my internal struggles. For now, I guess we’ll see how things turn out.

CerealThe Cereal Dater is a senior in the McDonough School of Business.Resurrect the Date appears every other Friday.

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