Cupcake Wars and Water Woes
Published: Friday, February 22, 2013
Updated: Friday, February 22, 2013 00:02
Anti Hydration Stations
Water is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty. Beauty is an important aspect of life at Georgetown. Every Joe and Jane Hoya puts in honest hours every week in order to maintain his or her glowing skin, majestic physique and sensual walk across campus, but the high standard of magnificence on the Hilltop is being threatened by the shortage of water on campus. This frightening reality is the fault of the Brita Hydration Stations, whose rate of dispensing water is equal to that of a dripping faucet in 14th century Rome. The worst violators are the stations in the Leavey Center, Lauinger Library and ICC.
The purpose of these stations is simple: By providing filtered water across campus, students are more inclined to carry reusable water bottles, knowing that they can be filled with delicious water at any time, thereby reducing the plastic waste caused by nonbiodegradable bottles. We’re looking at you Evian — which, by the way, spells “naive” backwards. No coincidence there. Whoever oversees the upkeep of these so-called “hydration stations” needs to repair those that are lacking in the “flow department,” or Joe and Jane will have to resort to either a life of actively watching the world burn by the flame of Evian bottles, or — even worse — a life of hideousness.
Coming Out of the Cupcake Closet
There’s something that the editorial board of the guide has to admit to its readers. We’ve known each other for a long time, and it feels right to truly reveal ourselves. It’s not that we weren’t ourselves beforehand, but there is something that we need to share in order to be completely genuine: Georgetown Cupcake is delicious ,and it’s time for the student body to come out publicly and admit it. From the outrageous flavors like Salted Caramel Praline to the superb frosting on the Red Velvet, we can’t get enough of these expensive sugar rushes.
Take back the gasp that just left your mouth and echoed throughout campus, because we have some things to add to this. First, we acknowledge that Baked & Wired is the best cupcakery in the land — better than Georgetown Cupcake. That cannot be denied. The sizes are bigger, the flavors are better and the atmosphere is more comfortable. Furthermore, we also recognize and admire Sprinkles — an L.A.-based company — for their presence as well. Competition makes for better quality. That being said, it is simply wrong to say that Georgetown Cupcake isn’t delicious and, when we’re too lazy to walk further down M street, it’s more convenient than it’s competitors. They may be overrated, overpriced and over-the-top with this TLC marketing nonsense, but their products are pleasant to the taste buds and glorious to the stomach, and we need to admit it. Don’t worry — we can honestly say that their coffee is terrible, so we still have that to throw in their glamorous faces.