I was watching “Grey’s Anatomy” with a male friend of mine once. It was the episode when Cristina Yang, an ambitious intern, finds out that she is pregnant, and the father is Dr. Preston Burke, a big-shot doctor at the hospital. Even worse, Burke broke up with Cristina before she had a chance to tell him. Feeling like she had to go through the ordeal alone, Cristina decided that she was going to get an abortion.

Considering the dramatic storyline, my guy friend asked me: If I were in Cristina’s place, wouldn’t I tell the father that I was pregnant before I made a decision about the baby?
If I were in a committed, long-term relationship, I probably would tell my boyfriend. But there are many other situations where I might act differently.

Becoming pregnant is one of the scariest situations imaginable for a young woman, and I don’t think that anyone can possibly know what the right thing to do is unless one is in that situation. No woman deserves to be judged by her ultimate decision.

But it is also true that one of the most influential factors for making that decision is the existence or absence of a supportive father. And since I just read a story in the Los Angeles Times about men who wanted to have a say and keep the baby when their pregnant girlfriends and wives decided to get abortions, apparently my friend is not the only guy out there who is wondering if he has a potential child growing in someone’s womb. So I’ll attempt to answer the question — not about whether a woman should get an abortion or if it’s right or wrong, but reasons why she wouldn’t tell the father — for the dudes out there.

Lucky for me, Hollywood has already provided some easy-reference hypothetical situations (and for the record, in the first scenario the woman has a miscarriage, and in the other two the women keep their babies).

Anybody who is faced with an unplanned pregnancy has a million concerns running through her mind. In Cristina’s case, she would not be able to continue her internship program if she went through with her pregnancy. Secondly, she was embarrassed that her co-workers would find out that she got knocked up by a superior in the workplace.

But this column is for the guys, so let’s look at why Cristina wouldn’t tell Burke that she was pregnant. It’s pretty obvious: He broke up with her. By ending the relationship, Burke is effectively saying that he does not want to be involved in her life.

Furthermore, it doesn’t make it better if he says that he will get back together with her because she’s pregnant. It’s patronizing. He’s already established that he does not actually want to be with her.

And let’s not forget the reason why Burke broke up with Cristina — not because he thought it was going badly, but because he felt that their relationship was going to interfere with his personal ambitions. Even when Burke says that he would have wanted to keep the baby, do you really think that he would take precious time off from climbing the career ladder toward chief of surgery to take care of a baby? I’m going to have to say no on that one, Doctor.

Another example is the “Sex and the City” episode when Miranda almost gets an abortion. Miranda got pregnant after having sex with her ex-boyfriend Steve, but as a partner at her big New York law firm, she was afraid that having a child would set her career back in an office where working fewer than 100 hours a week makes you an underachiever. She didn’t want to tell Steve because she didn’t want him to get worked up over a decision that she already made.
You guys might feel like you’re getting the shaft in that situation, but you have to understand: Pregnancy is a woman’s burden.

Having a baby is a significant setback for working women, and it’s more than the usual count of nine months of pregnancy and six to 12 months of breastfeeding. Women spend 11 years out of the workforce taking care of children and elderly parents, according to Allstate Insurance Company.

The decision-making process would be a lot different if women had more access to quality child care and if both sexes were given more time off from work to spend with their families. But as long as our society values work over family, women have to face an unfair reality.

Some guys might say that they are willing to help out with a baby. But if the guy wants to have a say, he has to demonstrate that he is prepared to fully participate in raising the child. Too many women, however, have been burned by boyfriends who run away.

The most unrealistic Hollywood situation of all, though, is the premise of the hit movie “Knocked Up.” Katherine Heigl’s character, Alison, has a one-night stand with Ben (Seth Rogen), and two months later, she sees him again to tell him that she is pregnant.

In real life, I would estimate that there is a 95 percent chance of this never happening. The whole appeal of a one-night stand is that neither of the two parties wants to deal with each other. If the girl feels like merely asking for a second date is too much, it’s unlikely that she’s going to track him down to put him in a life-changing situation.

Most importantly, I would hope that two people having a random hook-up are going to protect themselves.

Since the prospect of an unintended pregnancy is real for everyone in a straight sexual relationship, I should give the guys some final advice for the real world. It’s actually pretty simple: Talk to your girlfriend. Tell her how you feel, whether you want to say, “I would like to know if you get pregnant because I would be willing to help you raise a child,” or, “If you get pregnant, it’s your decision; I’d rather not be involved.”

Understand that she may not agree with you — and if you both feel strongly about different positions (politically speaking), you really shouldn’t have unprotected sex.

Will be it awkward? Of course. But I promise you, it will be a lot less painful to do it now than to have to talk it out Alison-and-Ben-style. And as men start to show that they will be supportive, they might find that women will be more receptive to hearing their side.

Emily Liner is a senior in the College and a contributing editor of THE HOYA. She can be reached at liner@thehoya.com. SKIRTING THE ISSUES appears every other Friday.