I recently got into a heated discussion with two of my closest friends at Georgetown, Edward Downey (COL ’12) and Katherine Gore (SFS ’13). In between doing no homework, watching TV and writing facilities work orders, we found ourselves arguing about whether or not life sucks. Both Ed and Katherine took the position that existence is indeed fair. I, however, disagree. Take it from a senior that there are many problems with Georgetown that could be easily solved:

Firstly, the entire admissions/housing system needs to be overhauled. If I had my way, firstyearswould start out in townhouses. This would be a much easier transition to college life: Let them leave their comfortable homes in the real world and enjoy the foul, sticky, vomit-filled residences of townhouses in Burleith or West Georgetown. Freshmen should cook their own food and should be constantly disoriented, an effective way to meet new friends here. Much more effective than dances and carnivals in Leo’s.

Likewise, seniors should be stuck in VCW or Harbin to transition from college life to the real world. There is no way that my apartment next year will be any larger than my room in Darnall. I also know nothing about Washington, D.C.; NSO should be saved for seniors.

But why should there be a limit on how many years one can attend Georgetown in the first place? It frankly makes no sense to me that one must start their “real” job after four years. How arbitrary is that? Many of us do not want to leave Georgetown, Rhino and all of the comforts of undergraduate life and would rather continue paying for a quality education. Let the market work: If recent graduate Damian Grossman (COL ’11), for example, wants to continue paying tuition and subsequently learning more (he does), that helps both his whole person, cura personalis and Georgetown’s finances. After eight or nine years of school, he would be doubly smarter than regular people.

Alice Roosevelt Longworth once said, “The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.” That is another good solution. Instead of electing to learn more and more, perhaps seniors should stop their intellectual engagement entirely. If, for example, Brendan Glass (COL ’12) chooses not to use turnitin.com in courses that require it, doesn’t complete his course evaluations, or, even worse, elects to stop using his iClicker in class, when he fails his classes, Georgetown should require him to continue his education. It is Georgetown’s job, after all, to ensure that Brendan’s mind is not dead.

Life should not exist outside of college. I really don’t understand my peers’ fascination with financial independence and moving to other places. We have built our own successful community here. It has taken a lot of effort, and it works. When we’re in our seventies, I still want to live in a world withRangila, Relay for Life and SAC commissioners. And once the hotel in the Leavey Center is renovated, we’ll have plenty of space for a Georgetown retirement dorm.

Am I the only one who really loves Georgetown? The only one who wants to be here forever and stand the tests of time? We will be lost among everyone at Georgetown, just like my friends Ed, Katherine, Damian and Brendan, none of whom are real people.

We will only be remembered if we can be here forever. And while the Medical Center should look into halting death, Georgetown has so many other things to spend money on, like renovating buildings, paying unionized Leo’s workers and football scholarships.

Life sucks.

Jed Feiman is a senior in the College. TAKE IT FROM A SENIOR appears every other Friday in the guide.

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