It’s with a heavy heart that I begin my final piece. It is strange to think that three months ago, I applied to The Hoya to write “The Cereal Dater” with this explanation:
“After my first ask, I wanted to become a serial dater yet fear still held me back. Committing to this column will force me to get out of my comfort zone as I ask guys on dates and live to tell about it. While there is a self-serving motivation to this application, I also hope my classmates will laugh with me, live vicariously through this column and even find inspiration to conquer their own fears of awkwardness.”
Originally, I intended to ask someone new for every column, but that became difficult after the first date with Cookie Crisp. Fear not. One final story of comic relief to follow…
I decided Senior Dis-Orientation would be a time to wrap up loose New Student Orientation strings. With liquid courage, I walked into the first Dis-O kegger on a mission – to ask three different people on a date.
Ask No.1: Cinnamon Toast Crunch (NSO party-hunting wolfpack teammate and NSO crush. We hadn’t spoken since NSO, yet we matched on Tinder days earlier than this encounter.)
Me: Hey, Cinnamon Toast Crunch! Will you go on a date with me?
CTC: Hey! Yeah.
*gives me his phone number*
CTC did not respond to my text the next day. Although I do not remember exactly what came out of my mouth, I confronted him at the final Dis-O party and received this response:
CTC: I’m kind of seeing someone.
Ask No.2: Froot Loops (He is a respectable young man.)
Me: Hey, I know you rejected me from [insert organization name], but do you want to go on a date with me?
FL: For the record, I did want you in [insert organization name], but I’m dating that girl over there.
Ask No.3: Wheaties (friend-of-a-guy-friend)
W: My friend mentioned you wanted to ask me on a date.
Me: I was thinking about it.
W: If you’re paying, I’ll go.
Part ways. Ten minutes later…
W: Are you going to ask me on a date?
Me: Okay, will you go on a date with me?
W: Yeah, if you’re paying I’ll go. Where are we going?
The week after, I let him know I couldn’t take someone so rude on a date. He texted back: “What a time to be alive.”
Days later, I realized it was a reference to the new Drake and Future album in which the first verse of the first song I listened to was “I do not chase girls, but they’ll run a mile for me.” Wheaties will do great things someday.
As this column comes to a close, a huge thank you is in order to everyone who followed me on this adventure. Where is your favorite cereal dater now? Cookie Crisp has been incredibly wonderful, and I think I won the cereal lottery. I haven’t asked anyone new on a date in two months because I have no interest in dating anyone else. After all the boys who have momentarily been in my life, he is the first man to be worthy of my time. The more time we spend together, the more I like him and that the more I realize how miserable the end of our time time together will be. Yet I won’t let fear of the future keep me from enjoying the present. I’m lucky that he became a part of my life with the help of this column, but I also believe that I made my own luck and that you can make your own too. A friend told me she admired my confidence; I told her, “It’s all pretend.”
Take initiative before it’s too late. Who cares if your postgraduate plans take you to opposite sides of the world? I used to justify my singleness with the plan that I would spend a lot of the next 10 years travelling. But if you have a connection with someone in college, you’re both here right now, and you should cherish the time you have left.
The first ask is terrifying, I know. I promise it gets easier and I encourage you to take ownership of what you want. I leave you all with this: “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take. Wayne Gretzky. Michael Scott.”
The Cereal Dater
The Cereal Dater is a senior in the McDonough School of Business. This is the last appearance of RESURRECT THE DATE this semester.
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