There are just some things that shouldn’t be laid out for anyone with ears (or eyes) to partake in. Some things should be private – reserved for special people – or just for yourself until (if ever) you deem the time right. In her recurring column in this newspaper, “Sex on the Hilltop,” Julia Baugher appears to think otherwise.

In her column, Ms. Baugher seems to contend that sex is just a casual, meaningless thing . it’s like, oh, bowling. There is nothing special, nothing sacred about it. It is simply a means to an end – and if you are in the mood, you might as well hook up with anyone you can find. In the admittedly “high stakes” game of sexual politics, I think Ms. Baugher is confused as to the stakes involved. Indeed, there is something to be said for self-respect, and “Sex on the Hilltop” has yet to say it.

To The Hoya’s readership, Ms. Baugher is more than happy to suggest “ex sex,” with the thesis: it’s fun, knock yourself out (“The Dos and Don’ts of Ex Sex,” The Hoya, Jan. 17, 2003). She was pleased to guide us all in the touchy area of sleeping around – same thesis, but be prepared to cover up your past (“Revealing Your History: Sex and Lies About Sex,” The Hoya, Jan. 24, 2003.)

To a degree, the message extolled in “Sex on the Hilltop” is the same one that brings guests to “Jerry Springer:” if you think you’ll get just a few seconds of pleasure out of baring your soul and cheapening yourself, go for it. But this kind of behavior begs the question – if you’re going to set the tone that these casual, drunken, anonymous hookups are acceptable, how can you expect to have a real relationship? I’d really love to read a “Sex on the Hilltop” column about that.

How is it that one can foster a real relationship with another person after one has already shared such a special part of oneself with half of Copley and a quarter of Henle? Is it even possible to have something real after living in such a state of unmitigated hedonism?

I don’t see how this can be.

In terms of friendships, once you’ve told the whole campus about your dad and his secretary, your less-than-stellar GPA and everything else that shouldn’t be everyone’s business, how will you go about making real friends? Will such a thing exist? There is no “next degree” of yourself that you could share with a “best friend” – your veins of emotion have all been tapped.

What about your character – what kind of message does this sort of behavior send about you as a person? Are we really of the mindset that our sexual activities have no bearing on who we are as people, as “Sex on the Hilltop” seemingly contends? What happened to the old adage, “your character is reflected in what you do when no one is looking?” In “Sex on the Hilltop,” your character is like your resume; we can just pick and choose the past actions that we would like to have others (or yourself) remember.

How nice that sounds. How false it really is.

Actions beget consequences. Behaving like “Sex on the Hilltop” advises isn’t so much a bad thing – this isn’t a moralistic argument I’m extending – it’s just a hollow thing. It is something so painfully void of emotion and substance that it makes you wonder – how can anything like this bring real happiness?

In the end, we all want someone who will care for and about us. But after adhering to the “Sex on the Hilltop” code of conduct, when you are finally ready to give your heart to another, there won’t be much to give. All that remains will be the dense scars where passions and emotions once hid. And you won’t know the difference.

Adam Jones is junior in the College and can be reached at jonesthehoya.com. POINT OF ORDER appears every other Friday.

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