Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Ha, You Suckers, I’ve Fooled You All

Tim Llewellyn/The Hoya Don’t believe Brian Walsh’s innocent smile. No matter who you are at Georgetown, he has probably already fooled you.

Well, I’ve done it: I have finally fooled you all. You’re letting me graduate with a degree from Georgetown. Boy, do you look stupid for doing that! Aren’t you devaluing the stature of the institution by giving me a degree? Isn’t anyone concerned about this?

I first fooled the naive people over at the admissions office way back in 1998, who for some reason, decided to let me into Georgetown. Then I systematically fooled a large network of professors, making them actually believe that I knew something when in fact I really don’t know anything. (In fact, I even had one professor say that I had “impressive intellectual poise.” Man, I got him good).

I fooled people into letting me help run New Student Orientation. I fooled the Corp into thinking that I actually knew how to make coffee. (OK, most people there know that I have no clue how to make coffee . if I didn’t know how to make a drink that someone ordered, say, an Americano, which is really just espresso shots and hot water, I simply said, “Uh, sorry, we’re out of that.”)

I fooled the Gracenotes, Phantoms and Kickline into appearing on my GUTV “Live Holiday Spectacular,” a sorry excuse for a campus television variety show. I also fooled many people into being guests on “GTalk Live.” They probably thought that people watched GUTV (sorry Zena and Rich).

I fooled the Class of 2002 into voting for me to be class representative, twice. I mean, really people, what were you thinking? That’s not as bad, though, as when Ryan DuBose and I fooled the entire student body into voting for us for president and vice president, and then, get this, a lot of people were fooled into thinking that we actually did a good job! (Not those loving people in the Academy, though . you clever folks always said we were up to no good because we didn’t support that silly “Yard” idea). I fooled administrators and the student press into thinking that I knew what I was talking about during meetings and interviews. I fooled underclass students into thinking that I could give advice.

I fooled roommates into thinking that I was clean. I fooled people into thinking I could dance (all right, nobody thinks that I can dance). I fooled the folks at this year’s Cabaret into thinking that I could emcee the show with DuBose, and they actually trusted us to sing a song. (Well, sort of . I really just spoke some lines and mouthed the words when I didn’t know them. It’s amazing how it looks like you’re singing when you’re really just mouthing “OOH” and “AHH”).

I’ve managed to fool several Jesuits into thinking that I am a reflective person. My latest foolery has been administered to the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, who for some reason think that I am qualified to provide social services for homeless individuals in downtown Seattle. I’ve never even been to the West Coast! What are they thinking?

And now I have finally fooled The Hoya into asking me to write a senior Viewpoint. However, as I do whenever I fool people, I try to make the most out of the opportunities I have been given. With that, I have a good deal of thanks to give out.

I have been extraordinarily fortunate to have the opportunity to attend this university. I know that what I have accomplished here is not due to anything that I have done, (short of fooling people), but rather due to the generosity and encouragement of so many people. I am very grateful to all of you, especially the ones I fooled the most.

To my professors, thank you making me aware of the world beyond, making me care about the world beyond and challenging me to engage the world beyond. To the Jesuits and chaplains I have met, thank you for challenging me and supporting me in my continual faith journey. To the administrators I have worked with, thank you for your trust and your passion. To the students I have worked with, thank you for your enthusiasm and dedication. To the friends who have supported me along the way, you will never know truly how much you have meant to me. To my parents and family, I will always be grateful for the sacrifices you made for me, the incredible example you have given me, and your unending love and support for me.

And to the Class of 2002, thank you for letting me be a part of this community. I am honored to be a part of this class. We have been through both incredibly exciting and incredibly difficult experiences these past four years at the Hilltop, but through the challenges and accomplishments, I think we have shared something that will stay with us forever.

Wherever we go, we will always have this amazing shared common experience. We now leave this place where we have been formed and where we have called home. We will scatter across the globe doing many different and interesting things with our lives. I know we have a lot to offer this world, and that we’re going to shake things up and leave our mark. There’s an entire world out there to fool. Let’s show them what we’ve got. Class of 2002: What Rocks.

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